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Give them permission to stand beside you. Above all, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone. No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic you feel about our own situation, there is someone in your life who has dealt with similar emotions and who wants to help you.

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The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope as you work for what you want. Do not admire what you hope for from a distance, but live right in it. Get deeply involved with the thoughts and activities that keep your hope alive and your intention possible. No, hope alone will not save you from despair. Hope empowers you to strive and grow even when your circumstances are in shambles. The road that is built with hope is more pleasant than the road built in despair, even though they both may seem to lead you to the same place in the short-term.

But it is the positive growth you attain on your way to this temporary place that will benefit your final destination. Eating that chocolate cookie, right?

When you concentrate on not thinking about something, you end up thinking about it. The same philosophy holds true when it comes to freeing your mind from a negative past. But if you instead choose to focus your energy on moving toward something you do want, you naturally leave the negative weight behind as you progress forward. Read Learned Optimism. Everything seems simpler from a distance. Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly. You are more than whatever is troubling you.

A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment. Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment. Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions. Your body may experience pain, and yet that pain is not you. Your mind may encounter troubles, and yet you are not those troubles.

Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now. What advice would you give her?

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If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently? Think of the advice you would give your friend if your friend were in your shoes. Are you following your own best advice right now? Take a few steps back and give yourself the benefit of this distance, and then give yourself some great advice.

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Take all the time you need. Take today breath by breath, one step at a time. Never let trouble from the past make you feel like you have a bad life now. Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us. Today you have a choice to explore these parts of yourself. Give yourself the needed time and permission to explore and heal.

Stop thinking about what might have been and starting looking at what can be. Dear Future, I am ready now! Please leave a comment below and let us know. Photo by: Martina Photography. How do I get through the death of my father my wife leaving me and losing my home and 2 dogs and a cat all at once???

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A year ago I was happy and had a great life and now suddenly at 59 I have lost everything I am in emotional pain everyday and pray to God to give me peace. I wish I could tell you how to handle all that.. If you have someone to talk to.. Detachment is the mantra.

Nothing is constant but change in this world. Times change circumstances change and people change. I n this world nothing is yours. Bad times change for good and good times never stay for ever so keep faith in god as he has a plan for everyone. Just keep faith. So sorry to hear of your losses. I was forced recently to rehome two of my beautiful dogs due to a threatening neighbour and am in enormous pain.

I have had many losses in the past, but yours are all at once so that is very difficult. I hope you have some good friends to talk to and also see a counsellor or psychologist. I am finding the impermanence of life difficult to come to terms with at present but it seems to be a lesson we have to learn.. I hope you get through and come to peace and acceptance. I can really empathise with you.

Point 3 is my problem, I always expect things to turn around exactly I want to, but slowly I have learned to face this fact, that there is nothing like magic, we have to work hard to get exactly what we want in our life.

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Good article. All i can say with my resent experience is …When one door of opportunity closes, God gives another and definitely the better one …. I do agree life is not about a smooth ride, it is indeed your Karmas that get you places …. Thanks for this wonderful article.

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I feel burdened in life because of the huge emotional baggage I am carrying on my shoulders. I think a lot about could have beens. But that past is not coming back. I took some ugly decisions some bad ones and some crazy ones too. After reading this beautiful article I have come to realize how much I reminisce my past.

My presents good too. I think I should not forget how blessed I am in my present moment.